Job Hunting

Finally I'm free.

Anyone with jobs to intro for the next 2 months? =(

There's nothing interesting in my life to update at all.

FML

Tired

of this kind of life.



What kind?

I don't even know where to begin



I see no path in front of me.
Where's the light?
Where's the reason to move on?
What's my goal?
What's my future?



What is there to begin with?

I deserve nothing - nobody.

21

Warning:

Boring and long emo post ahead. Read at your own risk.

===============================================================

Friends, is essential for everyone, I guess.

But true friends, have never existed for me. There are no friends in my life that lasts long enough for me to reach out to when in need. People walks in and out of my life as they wish. I've learn this ever since I started to bond with my peers during primary school.

I was never so pessimistic about friends. I was naive once thinking that friendship should last forever and that people shares everything with their best friend.

Best friend? I remember many, who end up doing nothing but breaking my heart over and over again.

The closest, I would dare say, must be Aya-chan =) She changed me, fucking a lot. The one that shared all my love for manga and anime. The one who shared my love for books and music. The one who brought me to church (*coughs* Yes, I do go to church a lot ONCE). The one I could trust completely. The one friend, I thought, could last forever.

Obviously, I was wrong. Friendship never last forever. She broke my heart when I count on her the most. Some time when I was around 14 or 15, she left me stranded on an island alone, on the day of my birthday, when I needed her. It was the worst possible birthday ever in my life, or so I thought, by expecting nothing on the birthdays in the years to come.

Life is always happier without expection. From that day onwards, I did not care much about people around me. Friends? What's the use of opening your heart to them when they're just some phases in your life and changes oh-so-often. If people can forget about me so easily, so could I, even if it's hard.

Yes, that's one of the phases in life where I grew to be so cold, so lonely. Wearing different mask with different people. My favourite mask would be anti social and quiet. It's easier that way, I guess.

Relationship works both ways right? When you act like that towards your friends, you tend to act similarly to your bf/gf. At least in my case, I do that, a lot. I hold no expectation from relationships, even a 3 year relationship did not melt the ice of my cold heart.

Selfish.

These days, I learnt that the harder you shield yourself, the more it hurts when the torn touches you. Or am I just weak? I would give myself a 'Yes, you are weak indeed'.

It's hard to understand others when you're not giving them a chance to understand you. Maybe that's why we failed, something I already accepted weeks back. It has been fun, but it would never work out, and you know it =) Solution is easier said than done.

Oh right, it's my birthday today, I thought no birthdays could be worse than what I had back then, I guess I was wrong then. :)

The 21st year of my life. A year that should've marked my adulthood. A sign that it's time to stop dreaming, and actually doing things I should be doing, like a real adult. Stop wasting time of my own and others. Stop playing with fire that eventually burn myself.

This year, I wish for myself to be more mature, and stop being selfish.

Thanks for everyone who wished me, you have made my day much better.

999

Is the complete 180 degrees rotation of 666

666 - The number of Satan

I wonder what does 999 stands for?

Hhmm... Oh right! Our Malaysian (and UK) emergency Hotline!!! Something I've never dialed before =/

But I bet everyone knows what 69 stands for....... *wink wink*

Here's a hint for all you innocent lil' virgin

Awww... aren't they CUTEEE?? Suckling pigs are just so yummy ;)

Hereby end my meaningless and emo-less post on this so-called memorable date of 09 - 09 - 09

Ame OUTSIDE Mutha fuckerrrrrrrrrr

**** Omg watched too much Peter Chao on YouTube. FML :'(

Sorry

Oh I had a lot to say, was thinking on my time away

I missed you and things weren't the same

'Cause everything inside it never comes out right

And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue

I'm sorry about all things I said to you

And I know, I cant take it back.

I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds

And baby, the way you make my world go round

And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry

This time I think, I'm to blame

It's harder to get through the days

You get older and blame turns to shame

'Cause everything inside it never comes out right

And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue

I'm sorry about all things I said to you

And I know, I cant take it back

I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds

And baby, the way you make my world go round

And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry

Every single day, I think about how we came all this way

The sleepless nights and the tears you cried

It's never too late to make it right

Oh yeah

Sorry

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue

I'm sorry about all things I said to you

And I know, I cant take it back

I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds

And baby, the way you make my world go round

And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry

Holidays

Time flies.

There goes my 2nd week of holiday :(

Achievements? Non. Beides the fact that I took up reading storybooks, shopping every other day and wasting loads and loads of money =/

Oh, and another 65 bucks gone on cutting hair yesterday. New hairstyle :D But no pictures, lazy laaaa.

My blog is soooo lack of post these days. It's like I'm braindead and I can't seem to think of anything to talk about.

Went up went down genting for no apparent reason, spent 2 days in Penang gaining nothing but weight, visited almost all the shops in Mid Valley Megamall and Sunway Pyramid (now I feel nauseatic at the thought of going into any malls). Finally got myself a new purse and a gorgeous pendant (birthday present).

I ish shooo lack of DoTA, misses Garena but can't seem to get pc to instal w3 due to laziness.

I ish shooo lazy, the only thing I do at home now is to lie on my bed and hug my storybook to sleep.

I is shooo good girl for not touching my pc as often anymore, as though I'm nonexistant online anymore. Sob T_T

and why am I updating my blog? I don't know =/ Bahhh!!

Miss me?

It's been exactly 1 month since my blog post.

The things happened in 1 (motherfuckingmonth):

1) Bang car 4 times, what a lucky bitch.

2) Having a God-knows-what allergy, hives come and goes for the 3rd time so far, leaving plenty of scars on my whole leg.

3) Making McD my 1st home, spending an average of 10 hours a day there. (Officially anti-McD now, makes me nauseous)

4) Never enter club at all :DDDDDDD

5) Is clueless of what to blog.




Like.


Seriously.



So, I'm here to announce my freedom-hood of 3 months.

Anyone wanna cheng me go watch movie/singK/pak tor?

HA. HA. HA.





Lifeless.


Ciaoz

<3 Ame <3

The End

Start - 28th October 2006
End - 12th July 2009

It's been so long huh.

Note:
Take care of yourself. Find someone that deserve you more than me. Thanks for taking care of me these few years. I'm sorry for turning into such an undeserving bitch, hurting you so badly again and again. Hope you will move on and lead a better life without me.

- Mandy -

Being a Bitch

I don't know what become of me lately. Getting more and more selfish (as if I'm not selfish enough).

Ame is not nice anymore.

She is hurting everyone around her, mind-fucking people and enjoys her new found freedom. Ame is wasting her parents money as if her father prints money. Ame tortures people who cares and eventually tortures herself as well.

Is there any cure for Bitch-syndrome?

She still cares, just not enough to act.

What is there left to do? =(







*Update*

Something funny I found randomly -

"This is not a fact that I keep hidden when I ask a woman out on a date. I am completely truthful and upfront, as I would want the woman to be truthful and upfront with me. We are inundated with talk-show wisdom about being open and honest in our communication with the opposite sex. However, why does honest communication go right out the window when I say, "I'm not looking for a serious relationship," and my date hears "I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now, but after several dates, that will change."

Please, someone, anyone, tell me how to say "I'm not looking for a serious relationship" in a language the fairer sex can comprehend. As of right now, I'm at a loss."

Ame says - Tell him/her "I want nothing other than sex from you, either fuck it or fuck off"




A romantic relationship will never be romantic anymore when it gets serious. Every single little thing you do, you have to consider the feelings of this 'someone' that is supposedly 'special' for you.

Apparently more girls find themselves emotionally attached to such relationships. The feeling of needing to be acknowledged in a relationship, the feeling of wanting the 'status' and hoping for commitment from him.



The thing I noticed is, this (the guy in the quote above) is the type of guy that would get hurt more in a serious relationship (if he ever gets serious) and would be the perfect husband.

I have a living example for this, prove me wrong anyone?

Happy Stuffs

Just noticed I've been emo-ing for the whole of June -_-'' Not that happy stuff didnt happen, just didn't have the mood to post it during that time ):

So here are buncha of photologs taken from my gorgeous N79 (Pretty phone, sucky camera) with little captions since this lazy bitch has nothing to blog about. XD

Mum's birthday, 2nd of June =)

Annual celebration in Victoria Station =.='''

Lepak-ing @ Carl's Jr after gym

Yummmm.. Bestest burger ever <3


Coolest Indian ever - Nagen


Dearest brother~ Jun (POSER LAA!!!)


Wolverine?


Smoking friessssssssss

Barcelona & Quattro with Vivi <3

Vivi - Jessica (birthday gal) - meme - Crystal



2 leng lui side by side <3



Before leaving for Quattro. I killed the color coz my makeup was horrible T^T



Rawrrrrrrrr~!!


Chuuuuu~ <3



Camwhoring session @ AC after gym =_='' My shirt is teh fuglehhhhhh










LAST BUT NOT LEAST

It's moi daddy & Daniel's birthday today.

Happy Birthday to the man I love the most and handsomest cousin!!!!!!!!!! <3

No celebration, stupid dad chose badminton over dinner ): So imma stuck here blogging )))):